I have not seen the new Stars Wars movie, and I know nothing more about it than its title. And I sometimes get the title wrong and call it “The Revenge of Skywalker.”
I joke that I have movie amnesia. This has been a thing since well before any of my head injuries or weird neurological events. I see a movie, and roughly immediately afterwards, I forget most of what it was about. This is one of the things that has been keeping me from watching Season 4 of The Man in the High Castle because I am going to need to remind myself what had happened up to this point (this applies to TV shows as well as to movies).
- OK, so there have been some Star Wars movies in the past.
- In original Star Wars, they had to put together a team to destroy the Death Star. In some ways it was like The A-Team, but without the plagiarism.
- Due to my generational alligiences, I am required to insist that Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie of all time, even though I don’t remember anything about it other than Luke wore black.
- Then there was Return of the Jedi which I don’t remember either, but maybe that was the one with the Ewoks?
- Many years elapsed, and I was probably in graduate school when they released more Star Wars movies. There must have been three of them? One of them had Jar-Jar. Was that the same one that had Natalie Portman?
- That clump of movies that I can not remember is making me nervous about seeing the new one because the name “Skywalker” is in the title. Wasn’t there some sort of weird quasi-supernatural thing going on with Skywalkers in those movies? Like Mrs. Skywalker was magical? Do I need to know anything about Mrs. Skywalker’s arcane backstory to understand the new one?
- There have also been a whole bunch of Star Wars movies recently. Even worse for me, I can’t keep track of which ones were from the main series and which ones were just there to bring in more money. There is the one where Han shot first, which I think was a side story. And I think that there was one with a girl who is different from the girl in the other movies?
Jim is out of town right now, so I will not be able to watch Star Wars with him until he gets back.
I am not particularly worried about hearing spoilers between now and when he gets back because I think that almost every character whose name I know is dead. The only two living characters that I am aware of are the girl who doesn’t dress warmly enough for the ice planet, and Adam from Girls. And since they are frenemies, they are probably going to have to battle it out. Plus, I’m just going to forget anyway.
I mean, it’s been many, many hours of good vs. evil with light saber battles and space ship battles and other ancillary battles, so they are probably going to stick to that because it has made them good money so far. Cute critters have also worked well for them (as long as they are small and don’t speak).
- Perhaps we will learn that Alderaan shot first.