I have tried really, really hard to be professional and to avoid writing about all of the people who are terrible at applying for jobs. For reasons that can not be explained succinctly, I deal with the initial stages of all job applications, and we are hiring for roughly 20 positions, so I get to see a lot applications.

First off: THE JOB LISTING SAYS THAT YOU NEED TO SEND A COVER LETTER. THAT MEANS THAT YOU NEED TO SEND A COVER LETTER. WHATEVER THE JOB LISTING SAYS TRUMPS WHATEVER ADVICE YOU READ ON SOME SEO-INFUSED BLOG POST ABOUT APPLYING FOR JOBS.

A lot of people don’t send a cover letter. IT IS A REQUIRED PART OF THE APPLICATION. I DO NOT MAKE THE RULES. THIS IS A REAL GROWN-UP JOB. YOU NEED TO PUT IN A FEW MINUTES OF EFFORT IN ORDER TO APPLY. MERELY CLICKING THE “EASY APPLY” BUTTON IS INSUFFICIENT.

Speaking of cover letters, after I send potential applicants my form letter asking for the freakin’ cover letter, some of them send cover letters, and sometimes it becomes really clear to me why these particular individuals didn’t send cover letters in the first place. What is that old saying? “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.”

Actual cover letters I have received:

  1. A cover letter template without any of the fields filled in. Yes, the person sent something that literally said, “I was pleased to find (Company Name)’s opening for a (Position Title).” This template also later asserted that the writer has a “sharp attention to detail.”

  2. One that began: “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.” (I copied and pasted to get the correct number of “blah”s.)

  3. Instead of writing about his own professional goals and accomplishments, the applicant wrote about the successes of people he is related to. And not in some sort of charming “The Moth”-style storytelling that gave me insight into the candidate’s skills and competencies. No, this was more along the lines of, “Don’t you know who my Daddy is!?” (No one related to a current or former president, btw.)

Maybe you are an applicant for one of our jobs, and you have received my somewhat-frosty form letter chiding you for the lack of a cover letter and you have read this far? I know that y’all are searching for me because LinkedIn is like, “Gurrrrl, you are POPULAR!” Don’t get mad; write a cover letter!

And, guess what: I can pass you on to the next stage of the process no matter how terrible your cover letter is! The three people I cited above? All sent on to the next step! The only decision I make is based on whether or not the cover letter exists, not on its quality!

Here, I’ll write one for you. I’d recommend changing the placeholder text, but that’s kind of up to you. Since the bulk of our hiring is for Academy roles, I’m going to write you an Academy cover letter; if you’re applying for a Headquarters role, you’re on your own.

Oh, and don’t forget to send a resume, too. An alarming number of people don’t send resumes.

Dear Dr. Szczepanski:

Please accept my application for the Mathematics/Language Arts Campus Director/ Assistant Director role at the AoPS Academy location in Name of City.

I wish that I had had access to a more challenging curriculum when I was in school, and as an educator, I’m excited for the opportunity to bring AoPS’s approach to students. As technology moves forwards and more routine tasks become automated, students need to learn open-ended problem solving in order to find success in the world. I am impressed by AoPS’s commitment to offering a challenging curriculum that also excites students’ creativity.

This approach resonates with my teaching philosophy. I have found that students want to be successful and to make sense of the world. Many struggling students will rise to the challenge of a tough assignment if they trust that their teacher is not trying to trick them. Unfortunately, others will shut down when they first face difficulty. In order to help all students have confidence in their abilities to meet academic challenges, I believe that we should start early with meaningful and creative work. Young children’s brains are wired to learn and explore, and I would love to be a part of a team that brings a problem-solving-based curriculum to students as young as the 2nd grade.

Not only do I have experience teaching level of students, but I also have experience leading a team. My management philosophy echoes my teaching philosophy: People want to be successful, and if we give them meaningful work and the support they need to get the job done, they will succeed.

I look forward to hearing from you about the next steps in the application process.

Sincerely,

your name

your contact information