So much of computer security is designed by boys, so I don’t need to worry that I’m giving away the answer of one of my account recovery questions by telling you that my favorite department store is Nordstrom. The security question people expect that I have a favorite sports team, that I had pets growing up, and that my relatives have well-defined names. The two-factor authentication people assume that I have pockets in which to carry around the second factor. Meanwhile, the cat has no idea how lucky she is that she can authenticate to her food dish via the microchip in her neck.

The closest Nordstrom to my home is at the Fashion Valley Mall. I always feel so out of place at the Fashion Valley Mall. This is the sort of mall where there are a lot of very wealthy tourists all the time. When Mitt Romney was living in his La Jolla house (the one with the car elevator), you would not be surprised to hear that the Romneys were going out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory at the Fashion Valley Mall. There is a sign up apologizing that the Carolina Herrera shop is being renovated, so CH is in a temporary location next to Prada. I feel like everyone else at the Fashion Valley Mall is so much richer and more fashionable than I am.

Now that I work at online school, in an office building whose door is guarded by an office manager who is also a former marine, I hardly need to deal with non-mathematicians ever. Strangers rarely visit our building, and I don’t get out much. I haven’t been to the gym in months because of my headaches (which – no matter what Barnard’s exact test might tell me – are not any better on this new medication that I was so hopeful about). I’ve basically reverted to the feral condition, much like the state that is rather commonly seen among math graduate students.

(More that one of my colleagues has shown up to work wearing pajamas. It is common for mathematicians to walk around barefoot in the office. We are all dressed fairly similarly when someone uncovers a box of free t-shirts sent by one of the projects that we collaborate with. I am not the only feral member of the technical staff.)

Due to a combination of KonMari, clothes wearing out, and me gaining enough weight that some of my favorite clothes don’t fit any more, I had to buy some new clothes. So I went to the Fashion Valley Mall on Saturday. Specifically, I went to Nordstrom. You can go to Nordstrom, and when someone asks, “May I help you?” (and they will, fairly quickly even) if you say “Yes!” and know what you want, the person will try really hard to help you. And if they are judging you for being a poorly-socialized mathematician, they keep it to themselves. So I succeeded in getting what I needed in a very short amount of time.

Yesterday I decided that the sizes and colors were not actually what I wanted, so today during lunch I went back to Nordstrom. And someone very quickly, ably, and friendlyly helped me with all of my returning and exchanging. She went into the stockroom to find other sizes and colors; I didn’t need to do any of the re-shopping myself. I probably spent more time looking for a parking space than I spent in the store.

At one point I had signed up for one of those internet services where they do all the thinking for you and send you a box of clothes. And it was terrible. I don’t have a lot of fussy requirements about my clothes, but the rules that I have are very rigid. I know a lot about fabrics and garment construction, and I know what I like and what I don’t like. I do not care if everyone else is wearing leggings with oversized tops; I am not going to dress like that. The internet algorithm big-data random box of clothes people don’t listen to me. The sales staff at Nordstrom helps me find exactly what I want.