It’s been… a while since I’ve been to the gym. To be fair, some of my excuses are really innovative. For example, I have an unusual vascular feature in my brain that could start bleeding at any time (with a very, very low probability), and I didn’t want to go to the gym until the vascular neurologist said that it was OK. Also — and more importantly — I am a creature of habit, and I got out of the habit.

  1. The last time I went to the gym (late last year), I hurt my knee. Today I took it easy on purpose. Also, I wore the shoes that the gym-trainers hate but that were recommended by the physical therapist who treated my knee back when it started doing such stupid things.

  2. I did two exercises. I would have done a third, but you know how it is at the gym. I was going to do box squats, but all the boxes were being used as end tables. They were all covered with coffee cups and phones and towels and water bottles.

  3. Ugh. I am so unable to do any of the things that I could do six months ago. It is the worst.